Brotherhood of the Sandbag
by Coricus
Summary: I'm not really satisfied with how this one turned out, but I'm leaving it up anyway since my inbox got flooded with thread alerts for six months due to self-promoting it. Basically a story about Mega Man getting sent to the "real" world that didn't get very far.
1. Chapter 1

I poised the jar and lid in the air with all the sadistic glee of a kitten ready to pounce. My quarry had fled around the ceiling of the lab for a good half hour, leaving a trail of overturned furniture and shouting wherever it flew. And now the little jerk was mine.

*CRUNK*

"Yes! Finally!" I held my captive and it's new prison joyfully above my head, basking in the glory of my triumph. The biggest smile that I could manage was plastered across my face. Victory was mine at last, and I was savoring every last moment of I-

"It's a fly, not the Holy Grail, Rock." My sister was a few feet away, an exasperated expression on her face.

"It's not just a fly. It's an annoying fly!"

"Uh-huh. And was it really worth tripping over the couch for?"

Grinning a little more sheepishly now, I paused for a moment and thought it over.

". . .Yes."

Roll deposited her forehead in the palms of her hands and just kind of stood there quietly. I knew I was being pretty silly, but catching that fly was highly cathartic.

"What are you even going to do with it?" Roll asked.

"I'm going to release it outside. What else would I do with an insect?"

"I don't know, leave it in there with a wet wad of toilet paper until it dies of neglect?"

"Oh ha, ha Roll. You know I can't do that. It's a violation of my programming to kill non-threatening animals. Also bug jars are kind of tacky."

I walked up to the front door. As I turned the knob, Roll grabbed my arm for a moment and told me what she felt I needed to hear.

"You better not release it right next to the door. It'll just buzz right back in and this will all happen all over again."

"I know, I know." I lifted her hand off of my arm and made my way outside, holding the jar up and berating it's contents as I left.

"See now, Mister Fly, this is why we don't go sneaking into people's houses. You just get caught and it's all a big waste of time. You're lucky that I'm a nice, friendly robot or you might have had a far worse fate than being taken back outside. See? Outside. Pretty!" I cooed, baby talking to Mister Fly somewhat. The fly responded by ramming the sides of the jar furiously. Sucks to be him, I guess.

Outside the house the sun was shining and the morning dew was only half dried off of the grass in the yard. Normally the birds would be singing and the crickets chirping too, but Rush had apparently decided to amuse himself today by chasing Beat around the perimeter of the lab. The resulting flurry of barking and squawking drowned out just about any natural sound that could have been heard. Fortunately, they both answer to me, so a ruckus like this is easily broken up.

"Hey, Rush! Beat! Come watch me set this fly I caught free!"

Both pets immediately complied. Rush ran up to me and excitedly sniffed the contents of the jar. Beat flew up beside him and hovered apathetically. Pleased with having an audience, I waved my hand dramatically over the lid of the jar before opening it. Mister Fly immediately fled the container and hovered in front of me. Then he started doing circles around me. I giggled. You would think he'd be sick of me.

That's when something unsettling started to happen.

Mister Fly seemed to be falling apart. And shedding. Confused, I started to look closer at Mister Fly. Funny thing is, it didn't seem to look so much like a fly anymore. It was a black and dusty looking blob and for some reason it appeared to be getting bigger. And bigger. And bigger.

Hang on.

_That's not a fly. _

_That's not a fly at all!_

At this point I attempted to break into a run, but my feet were now glued to the ground. The air around me was growing bitterly cold, and the sky had turned a peculiar shade of sickly green. The dust kept whirling around me faster and faster and it never seemed to stop swelling. I felt my feet being forcefully ripped off of the ground. Streams of black dust began slithering up my arms and legs.

I should have been screaming. Yet somehow I wasn't. I felt calm. Peaceful, even. What I could still see of the world outside the dust seemed to be melting. I didn't care anymore. As my face followed the rest of my body into the cloud, a single phrase burned itself into my memory.

**Audi famam illius.**

_That's. . .That's Latin. It means "I've heard legends of that person", I think. . ._

The next thing I remembered was lying on my back in a pile of white dirt and feeling quite baffled. The sky was pink and blue in the light of early dawn, and out of the corner of my eye I could have sworn I saw some of the black dust flying away.

I laid there for a moment and contemplated life.  
Then I slowly pulled myself up off the ground, knocking up little puffs of dirt in the process. The white dirt I woke up in was arranged around me in a circle with about a ten foot radius. I was apparently in a small clearing, with a thick forest of deciduous trees on one side and a rocky cliff on the other. I blinked. I had no idea where this place was, and I'm not sure anyone else did, either.

Being as confused as I was, I reached to rub the back of my head. It was at this point that I became aware of the fact that I was somehow now in my Mega Man armor. Great. Just great. I quickly deactivated the cyan and blue outfit and hoped no one had noticed. Not that I'm ashamed of having a heroic reputation, but flaunting it is in bad form and honestly I'm not proud of some of the things I've had to do in the past. I had no idea why on earth I was wearing it, though. Perhaps the dust blob glitched my systems?

At any rate, I was lost, and I had no idea what to do. Fortunately, I had a (feeble, childish) plan for how to find out.

I was going to tempt fate.

"Oh, dear. I'm alone in a big, scary forest. It's certainly not like I'm about to have save some random civilian from a big scary monster or get chased by angry soldiers or something like in all the cartoons, right? Because this totally isn't _just_ like that, right?"

. . .

Yeah, I think I just heard someone screaming. Way to go, fate. Predictable as ever.


	2. Chapter 2

Dried leaves crumpled under my feet as I sprinted over to the source of the cry. The morning air was cool and crisp, and the dim natural light of the woods was altered by the pale blue glow of my eyes. Jagged tire tracks could be seen in a dirt road nearby. The tops of a few tents were visible through the treetops as I got closer. I heard a whimpering sound coming from the campsite. I had to go help.

Unfortunately, I had to wait a moment before I could come to the rescue, as I had just tripped over a vine of poison ivy. Just when I had thanked my lucky stars that I was a machine and thus was incapable of having an allergic reaction to the weed, I stepped in mud. At least, I dearly hoped it was mud. . .

Fortunately, the disruption of my momentum made me realize that stealth might be a better option for approaching whatever situation lay ahead of me than blindly charging into the unknown. I snuck behind a sufficiently large tree trunk and tried to get a good look at what was going on.

There were two tall and burly men standing in front of a conspicuous hardwood dining chair in the middle of the campsite. One of the men was drawing inappropriate pictures in a small notebook, and the other was fiddling with a scalpel and chuckling. Tied to the chair was a boy in a grey hoodie who looked not too different from myself, although he seemed to be a bit closer to puberty than I was programmed to appear. The boy was begging and pleading for the men to let him go.

"Please don't take me to your evil lair! I have a fake wife and fake children!" He said. He seemed to have a faint accent as he spoke. Mediterranean, by the sound of it.

The two men staring him down were not impressed by his antics.

"What, you think we're going to fall for that?" Said the man with the scalpel.

"Yeah, do you?" Said the man with the crude notebook.

"I'll get you free internet if you let me go!" Said the boy.

"Really? You will?" Said the man with the stupid notebook. The man with the scalpel shot him a dirty look. Notebook man noticed and immediately backpedaled. "Uh, I mean, you don't have internet here to give me, so you're a filthy liar!"

The man with the scalpel sneered and pointed his tiny weapon of choice at the boy's throat.

"You know, you caused quite a few problems for our boys back there. If you think you're going to be able to weasel your way out of this, you are sorely mistaken."

At this point the boy abruptly changed his tune. Instead of trying to talk his way out, he now showed an attitude of defiance. He was still pale and shivering, though.

"I don't care what you do to me! You don't scare me! Much." Yelled the boy.

"Oh you don't, do you?" Said the man with the scalpel. "I don't suppose you care what we could do to someone else, then? Perhaps your lady friend would appreciate a little 'interrogation' instead."

At this the boy's fear all but went away altogether. The look in his eyes was that of intense rage, and his eyebrows furrowed into a glare.

"Don't you _dare_ think of doing anything to her." He said, lowering the tone of his voice to the point where it almost sounded like a growl.

Scalpel man chuckled again.

"Kid, there's a time in everyone's life when they realize that life just isn't fair. For you, that's now."

The man grinned spitefully and drew the scalpel up to the side of the boy's neck.

"Here, let me give you a taste of what we're going to do to your pretty little friend when we find her."

I couldn't take this any more. If this went on any longer, the boy was going to be hurt very badly. I had to do something. Anything!

*BANG*

Thee was a little smoke coming from the chamber of my Mega Buster. I hated to blow my cover like this, but I didn't have any better ideas of how to handle the situation. Scalpel man dropped his namesake and slowly turned towards me.

"Well, well, well. Now what do we have here?"

*BANG*

The hardwood dining chair the boy was tied to fell apart, leaving the restraints attached to it in tatters.

*BANG*

OK, that one was just for fun.

Scalpel man was not amused. Enraged by his cruelty, I slowly walked up to him and looked him as straight in the eye as a several foot height difference could allow.

"You." I said. "You. . .are a _meanie_."

He glared.

"Um. Well catch you later, I guess!" I grabbed the Mediterranean boy's hand and ran like a ninny as fast as I could out of there.

After I made it a few yards, I noticed what looked like scalpel man and notebook man's car parked off to one side with the doors hanging open and the keys still in the ignition. I was in kind of a hurry to get as far away from the area as I could, so I sort of just jumped in, shoved the boy into the passenger seat and drove off with it. I don't think that was legal, but whatever just went down back there certainly can't have been, either. The boy took a minute to realize what had just happened, but once he saw that he was safe he began to speak to me.

"T-thank's for the help back there! Those guys never knew what hit 'em!"

"I didn't hit them. I just startled them." I said, keeping my eyes on the road like a sane person.

"Eh, potato, potato. I would have left by myself, but those two creeps were pretty sneaky!"

"Well, I'm just glad you're safe. Do you have a name?"

"What do you mean? Of course I have a name!"

"Which is?. . ."

"What? Oh yeah, right. My name is Pit."

Pit. What an odd name. Then again, my name is Rock, so maybe I don't have a right to talk.

I continued driving down the road. The sun was shining brightly in the full bloom of morning, and I just passed a mile marker listing the nearest large city. Hopefully if I make it there I can do some research and find out just where I ended up. Oh, and find a place to stay where weird buff men with notebooks and scalpels aren't trying to torment people.


End file.
